The Ravine Read online

  “I don’t know, maybe. I guess I should just go buy a convertible, but some days . . .”

  “Some days what?”

  “Some days I just feel like pointing my car west and driving off to a place where no one can find me.”

  “Yeah, but you’d turn around at some point and go back to Rachel and the kids. You love them too much.”

  “Ya, think so, don’t ya? Maybe yes, maybe no, but there’s no doubt I’d land somewhere where at least the team in town had one decent starting pitcher!”

  And that was how most serious conversations went with Danny. If you peeked under the hood a bit, it usually got slammed shut as soon as you veered too close to the truth.

  Mitch took a sip of his orange juice and felt another pang of guilt for not having made more of an effort to reach out to Danny, now that he knew there must have been serious problems in his life. This was one time his sniffer certainly had not worked.

  That night at Johnny’s something had been different about Danny. He and Rachel had arrived early, and they were involved in what appeared to be a heated exchange when Mitch and Carolyn walked in. They both immediately went from pained expressions to happy greetings and wide smiles. However, when Mitch and Danny had their usual man hug, Mitch noticed a reticence from Danny, and, over dinner, he seemed guarded and withdrawn. He remembered thinking that Danny seemed preoccupied all evening. Was it possible he was already contemplating this horrible deed? Mitch preferred to think not—that something out of the blue had just happened to suddenly trigger a terrible series of events. It must have been some unexpected emotional explosion, rather than a plot. He would have been surprised but not shocked if Danny and Rachel had announced they were breaking up. And, while it seemed as though every segment of Dateline had a story about a guy killing his wife or vice versa, it was inconceivable that Danny would ever harm his children. He rarely even raised his voice to them; even when they were misbehaving and doing things that would anger most fathers, Danny would simply let them be.

  He remembered his last glimpse of the two of them: that night, walking to their car down the hill from the restaurant, engaged in conversation. He waved, but they didn’t notice. Mitch had the sense that something was wrong. For some reason, something told him just to stand there and watch them. They got smaller and smaller and finally turned the corner.

  He said something to Carolyn about his concerns as he started the car, but they let the subject drop, involved in whatever issues were going on in their lives at the moment. He never could have imagined that when they disappeared into the shadows, it would be the last time he would ever see them.

  Now Mitch didn’t know what to make of the person he had known for more than twenty years. Was he a monster who plotted to murder his wife and child, or someone who was mentally deranged, who, for some incomprehensible reason, committed the ultimate evil and then punished himself by taking his own life?

  He closed his eyes and said a silent prayer, and then dozed off for a few seconds. When he lifted his head he was astonished to see Rachel standing by the sliding-glass doors. She looked radiant, but the glare of the sun behind her made it hard to discern her features. He could recognize her face, despite it being obscured by her hair, which was gusting in the wind. She was smiling, almost laughing, and speaking, though her lips weren’t moving. “We’re all okay, Mitch, but I need you to ask Carolyn to do me a favor.” He thought he heard her trademark giggle. “Tell her she has to speak at my funeral. I know she won’t want to do it, Mitch, but tell her I will be with her all the way.” He woke with a start, thinking someone had poked him in the shoulder.

  As he shook himself awake, he heard stirring upstairs and knew the day was now beginning in earnest.

  Carolyn heard Mitch talking with someone downstairs and woke up. She lay in bed for a few minutes trying to remember Tuesday’s phone call with Rachel, when it dawned on her that two of Rachel’s messages were still on the answering machine. She and Rachel had spoken once but then missed each other’s calls throughout the day. What a gift, she thought. I can go downstairs and hear her voice! She pretended for a moment that if the messages were still on the machine, all this horror would be undone, just like in the movies.

  Why couldn’t life be like her and Rachel’s favorite movie, The Wizard of Oz? After facing the terrifying flying monkeys, creepy munchkins, wicked witch, and intimidating wizard who turned out to be a harmless old man who couldn’t even help her get back to Kansas, all Dorothy needed to do was slip on a pair of ruby-red slippers, click them three times, and poof, there she was, back home where all was well. Whenever they watched it, by the time the final black-and-white part came on, Rachel and Carolyn would be scrunched on the couch together, handing each other tissues and bawling their eyes out. But this wasn’t a nightmare from which she could awake; it was all too real.

  The boys were still sleeping on the floor, so she quietly got up, threw on her robe, and tiptoed down the steps. She ran over to the answering machine without even noticing that Mitch was sitting in the family room. He started to say something, but Carolyn interrupted, “Not now, I just realized I have Rachel’s messages on the machine!”

  After fast-forwarding through three messages, she finally heard Rachel’s voice: “Carolyn?” Rachel said in a lilting tone. “Hey, sweetie, it’s Rachel. What are you up to? I’m calling you back and wanted to let you know that I’m going up to Cleveland today. We’re getting nasty rain and I was wondering if it was raining up there, too. I want to know which coat to wear. Anyway, just give me a call when you have a minute. Love you, girlfriend. Bye.”

  On Tuesday, when she’d gotten the message, Carolyn was surprised and happy to hear Rachel would be in the Cleveland area, and thought she’d have a chance to spend time with her. But when she called Rachel back and invited her to dinner, it turned out she was only going to be in town long enough to take an exam for a job she had recently accepted. She wanted to get back home early so she could be ready to start the new job in the morning. The real estate broker she would be working for had assured her that if she passed the exam, the job would be hers. She still had her license, but this chain required all new employees to pass its test.

  Rachel had been out of the workforce for a while, and she always said tests made her nervous, so she’d been studying quite a bit. Still, she was fretting over having to take the exam and called Carolyn while she was sitting in the reception area, waiting to be called in.

  “You’ll do great,” Carolyn said. “You studied hard and you understand the material. You’ll ace it, I’m sure!”

  Carolyn reminded Rachel of all the things she had accomplished over the years, and how she had taken to real estate like a duck to water years before, and that, since she had studied and was prepared, she should just relax and expect to do well.

  Rachel called and left another message while she was driving home. Carolyn’s prediction had turned out to be correct.

  “Carolyn! I’m thrilled! I passed the exam! I’ll try you on your cell phone. If not, thanks for the pep talk. I really appreciate it. You don’t know how helpful it was to hear all that right before I went in. So, anyway, I’ll talk to you soon. Let’s try to get together this weekend. Bye.”

  Listening to the message now, Carolyn regretted not calling Rachel back right away after hearing the good news about the exam. It brought up a whole bunch of other “what ifs.” What if she’d taken Rachel to dinner to celebrate after the exam and then insisted she stay overnight to avoid the dark, rainy drive back? Surely Rachel would still be alive. She could have saved Rachel’s life.

  Why had she been so caught up in her own life that she hadn’t taken the time to see her friend? She knew this was irrational thinking, but that didn’t make her feel any less guilty. She couldn’t have known what was going to happen Tuesday night. If she had, she would have hijacked Rachel’s car and brought her home. But life doesn’t work that way. True, Rachel had refused Carolyn’s offer to get together, but hearing Ra
chel’s voice on the answering machine, Carolyn simply couldn’t stop wondering what else she might have done that would have changed everything.

  But these meanderings were pointless. It wasn’t as if Rachel had died in a car crash, leaving one to muse about how unfortunate it was she took the road with the black ice rather than a dry road. This wasn’t happenstance, but a whole other level of tragedy. There was a predator waiting for her in her home, and, for whatever reasons, he was apparently intent upon killing her. Perhaps, if she hadn’t gone home that night, whatever it was that made Danny do what he did would have passed, but Carolyn knew this was just wishful thinking.

  In just a few hours, however, the truth would begin to unravel and the layers of deceit would be revealed. And the loathsomeness of this crime would be undeniable.

  They were silent until they turned onto I-271 to head down to Akron. Something about the sign with that name gleaming on it filled both of them with immense sadness. This was usually a joyful trip for a birthday celebration, a sporting event, one of the holidays, or just a casual lunch or dinner. Carolyn gripped the armrest and stared out the window, hypnotized by the mileage markers zipping by. She had never felt so helpless or so sad in her life, but she felt cried-out, without a tear left to shed.

  “I think,” she said, “I’d like to be doing just about anything else today than going down to Akron to meet with a homicide detective to learn all the details. I don’t know if I can handle it, Mitch.”

  “I know, but in a weird way, I think we’ll feel a little better just knowing the facts. There must have been a reason Danny would do something like this. I never even heard him mention having a gun, and he loved the boys so much. None of it makes sense. Something must have happened.”

  Carolyn couldn’t talk about it anymore. She didn’t understand why Mitch wanted to know the details. How would that help? She wanted to be angry at someone, but other than Danny, she didn’t know whom to be angry at. It was all too new; it didn’t seem real and at times it almost wasn’t—and then it would come flooding back. She tried to preoccupy her mind with the things she had to do for her friend that day.

  The burden of making most of the arrangements had fallen to Maryann, who was barely more than a kid herself, at twenty-two, and so she had asked Carolyn to help her prepare for the funerals. Today was Thursday; they had decided not to hold a wake, and both the funeral service and the burials were planned for Monday.

  It was strange enough to be burying her best friend, but to think about burying her friend and her child (to say nothing of Danny, who was, after all, a friend for most of her life) was just bizarre beyond comprehension. However, Carolyn felt an odd comfort in being useful in some way. She knew Rachel would be there for her if the roles were reversed. What would Rachel like to wear? she wondered? Oh, no! What a stupid thought! Oh, Rach, if only you were here. What a laugh you would get out of me sitting here trying to figure out what you’d “like” to wear to your funeral. You’d probably say, “I’m dead, girlfriend! I don’t give a damn what I’m wearing!” She couldn’t laugh for fear of crying.

  She glanced over at Mitch. He was concentrating on driving and she could tell he was trying to figure things out by the knit of his brow. Her husband. The father of her children. The person who shared her bed, burdens, and joys. How she loved and trusted him.

  How awful to think that Rachel and her child were set upon by the man who should have been the protector of the family. Did he kiss her goodnight? Did he tuck the boys in? Did he lock the doors to make sure they were safe? What was it that sealed their fate? She wished she could stop these thoughts from rolling over and over, and concentrate on the tasks at hand.

  Her reverie was broken when Mitch brought up the subject of the eulogy and his dream again. “Honey, I’m telling you that it was so real. Like she was right there. She told me to convince you to do it, and that she would be there with you.”

  “Oh, Mitch, we’re both starting to imagine things. It was just a dream. I don’t think I could say more than a few sentences before I’d start to cry all over the place, and make a fool of myself, and make everyone feel really uncomfortable.”

  “I’m sure you would get through it. I know her spirit will be standing with you, and I know she wants you to do this.”

  “Well, it’s probably a moot point, anyway, because someone else in her family will want to do it, or maybe the pastor will just say a few words, so I don’t think it would be right to bring it up. If they want me to do it, then I’ll consider it, but don’t volunteer me.”

  “I’ll bet that once I tell them about the dre—”

  “Tell them about the dream? Don’t do that! It was just a dream!”

  They needed to have a little spat, just to try to talk about something else, though there was no escaping “it.” Mitch stewed a little, and felt like he was letting Rachel down; then, a few minutes later, Carolyn tenderly ran the back of her fingers along his cheek and said, “Don’t worry, we’ll know what to do when the time comes. I just can’t think straight.”

  They left the interstate and headed toward a side road. The most direct route to Tom and Anna Schroeder’s house would have taken them past Danny and Rachel’s, but they went out of their way to avoid Caves Road. They both felt a mixture of dread and anticipation once they saw the sign for the road that led to the Schroeders’ house.

  In a few minutes they would be introduced to the detective assigned to the case. Normally such a meeting with the family would have taken place at the police station, but, because of the media presence camped out at all the logical locations, it was agreed to meet somewhere private. All Mitch knew was that the homicide detective was named Thompson, and that Tom Schroeder knew him because their kids once played on the same basketball team. When Thompson had interviewed Tom about the discovery of the bodies, he had asked Tom to allow the family to meet at his house, and of course he had agreed. Maryann would be attending with Rachel’s younger brothers, Pete and Sam, and she had asked Carolyn to come for moral support.

  Before leaving the house that morning, Mitch had gotten a call from someone at his office, who had told him he heard a new report that Danny actually hadn’t shot Rachel and Evan, but had stabbed them, and that he had committed suicide by shooting himself, even though he was found at the bottom of a ravine. That all sounded too bizarre, so Tom had put it out of his mind. He purposely hadn’t turned on the TV at home or the radio in the car, because he didn’t want Carolyn to hear these wild rumors. He always wondered how people got through these things when he saw them reported on the local news, but he had no idea how treacherous gossip and rumors were until now, when he was on the other side of it. He was determined to learn the facts, so if there was anything he could do to help the family, he could do it.

  Mitch and Carolyn were both overcome with a queasy feeling when they parked behind a black cruiser and noticed the decal on the back window that read “Homicide Investigation Unit.” Mitch took a deep breath and said, “Homicide. What an awful word.” Carolyn glanced at it and looked away. Something about the car lent a horrible finality to the situation.

  A brisk November wind greeted them as they headed up the driveway clutching their open coats. Tom Schroeder was standing at the door greeting Maryann, along with Rachel’s brothers, Pete and Sam. When he saw Mitch and Carolyn he waved to them to come in out of the cold. They all huddled in the hallway and engaged in introductions and reunions, each coping with his personal grief, and privately mortified he might inadvertently say something inappropriate to the occasion.

  However, since there were no appropriate words for such an occasion, they all took turns hugging one another and mumbling some version of “good to see you, I wish it were under better circumstances.” Carolyn and Maryann held each other for an extra long time and started to weep while they were expressing their condolences to each other.

  Maryann remembered all the times Rachael and Carolyn had counseled her on the trials and tribulations of her teen y
ears. She had loved the fact they included her in their circle of two, because she knew it was a very special place. She could tell them anything, and they would always give her excellent advice, of the sort one could expect from older sisters.

  Maryann was around five foot ten, with curly dark hair, a fiery temperament, and a slender yet fabulous shape, so back then the phone was always ringing off the hook with a nervous high school boy at the other end of the line. Their inside joke had been that any guy who wanted to take her out on a date first had to obtain the “RC seal of approval,” or else he was out of luck. Now Maryann was twenty-two, engaged, and living with her fiancée. They were expecting their first child in the spring. Just a few weeks ago, Danny and Rachel had mentioned they intended to figure out some way to pay for the wedding that was planned for February. To Maryann, Danny had been her dad and Rachel her mom, and it was well known that the feeling had been mutual.

  She was inconsolable. Not only had she been orphaned for the second time in her life less than twenty-four hours ago, but one of her little brothers was also gone, and her youngest brother had experienced something that was indescribably horrible. Worst of all, the cause of this misery was the man she had thought of as her father.

  Rachel’s brothers, Pete and Sam, were now both in their early thirties. Rachel kept in touch with them, but, as with many siblings separated by distance and busy schedules, they would only get together around the holidays or for weddings and funerals. Pete and Sam both had settled in Minnesota after their father brought them back there on that fateful day after their mother’s funeral more than twenty years ago.

  Rachel’s father had died in 1999, five years ago. Carolyn remembered the occasion because Evan and Christopher had stayed at the Bianci home while Danny and Rachel were in Minnesota. She remembered how funny Rachel had been when she called to check in on everyone.